Thursday, January 19, 2012

Me & My Papa...

Hi I am lily. In my family I have a mom, elder brother & my father passed away three years back in 2009.
People say; when somebody died their family members and relatives everyone cry for few days and miss them for few days.
 I don’t know about others but I lost my father, I know how it feels when we lost our loved ones. Every minute every second I miss my papa, I can’t show anyone how badly I miss papa, because I only know what my father was for me; strangers or anyone else can’t understand.
  There are bundle of many things which I wanted to share with him, but don’t have any option to contact him, I wish we would have mobile phone and internet facilities at heaven to contact our loved ones…
Once my mom told me when I was a kid; first word which I said that was “papa” not maa. When I heard that I was like “really papa was my first word” I was amazed as I heard of babies first word is maa. My father calls me GUDIYA… very special & adorable word for me….But I don't like if someone else call me gudiya.

 As I am the younger one at home everyone loves me lot, my father too loved me very much, and it doesn’t mean we wasn't fighting. Even I and papa we fought like kids, my mom used to tell us we are TOM & JERRY. Within 5 minutes we fought within 5 minutes we patch up. I miss those moments.
My father and I used to play chess. My father always wins the game; once I won the game my father was happier than me.
I remember how I tell everything whatever I did in school and tuition to maa, papa & bhai… They all told me “bas kar beta ho gaya baaki kal bata dena”.  It’s my habit I tell everything to my parents, very rare things I hide.

I was in final year when we got to know that my father had stone in the gall bladder. Then my father is admitted in hospital, that was a very hectic time for us. As our exams were going on, and we have to manage so many things, I and my brother had to take care of mom, dad, hospital, study, college, tuition, home. I understood mom’s condition; the truth was that I too was very scared, but I can’t show in front of mom, I had to be very strong in front of her to show her that everything will be all right, don’t worry. The day of the operation also came, papa’s operation was successful. Doctors found around 150 stones in papa’s gall bladder which was different sizes.papa was alive just for 15 days after operation. Actually the stones were affecting his pancreas so doctors had to shift him in ICU then he left us……

I feel myself unlucky as I didn't hear my father’s last word; he might want to say something to me.

Life goes on but the fragrance of memories is still fresh, So many things to ask, so many things to share, but can’t help it as you are not here.

 Hope you feel proud and happy to see me from heaven…

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